Mom Mode Overload!!!

 How many of us have felt that?

Let's be Honest because everyone not everytime or everyday is an Instagram Mode cleaning, cooking, making foods for kids, healthy snacks and exercises and all of that.

This is my honest reaction. 

Last Friday both my kids were in school and I was miserable. I didn't know what to do with the time. The most useful thing I did was make a call to my Real Estate Team Lead and confess to her that I am not able to convert leads. And its not that I got the response I thought I could in my mind but it is partially my fault because I am not doing what she is asking me to do.. out of fear. She is asking me to contact my entire network and touch base with them.

And to be honest i don't know what is my network but that is for another day.

After my kids came home I tried to be the mother that I am that I always know, give them a bath, give them food and then again I had this time wherein they were on their Ipad or TV I was trying to find meaning but truly just scrolling on Instagram Reels.

Saturday was amazing as we celebrated my son's birthday by eating out at a restaurant, his birthday according to the Indian calendar ( Anant Chaturdashi). And that was another experience that enlightened me.

As we sat there we were eating chicken dishes while the other two tables around us were not.

It did not affect anyone but it made me conscious when the waiter brought out a tandoor chicken dish and the woman on the table next to us got up and walked away.

I mean it could have been because they cannot take the smell and what not but that interaction made me a bit uneasy.

Then after we finished food and my husband and daughter were eating food, Other stupid thoughts entered my mind that our kids are highly dependent on devices. And the root of this was surely the table next to us wherein i could see the mother and daughter smirking, it was not in a negative manner but it made me conscious.

And finally as I started driving the car back home I started talking to my husband about my deepest fears and his reaction was do you want me to get down. I understand where he is coming from but I have truly become too toxic to be around.  I personally feel that.

I have been shouting on my kids, having a mental breakdown on the slightest thing such as my kid dropped a glass of water or another kid dropped a plate.

The context here is my daughter has been sick for the past few days, and she hasn't been eating well, and then she cried a lot and my son ended up vomiting and takes almost an hour to eat food and needs a device to eat.

I mean these all can be things we can work on but because sometimes we envision this ultra polished version ,,, most of it I know comes from comparison to other kids in my family from my siblings or my husbands siblings and I don't like to be in that spot.

Because of that then old wounds start coming up and to be honest I just feel betrayed by everyone in my life and feel like there is no one with whom I truly share a bond to die for.

Up until a year back I did not have this feeling but now I do.

And it can be part of middle age or what not... 

But I feel extra stressful when I see my kids being treated unfairly because they have been by my parents and my husbands parents in my eyes by favoritism of the other child.

And then there is the added guilt of I am not contributing money to the table even though I am through Unemployment at the moment.

As mothers and women we are over achievers for sure but some of us end up doing so much more without getting our due. And these women bear a lot beyond what they ever can.

So in all this my kids are getting affected and I have realized there is no better way but to truly truly stay in the present and when the past thought comes up or you end up in contact with people of the past with whom you could never share a bond let it go.

I know it is easier said than done but this is what I have been trying after facing this this week

5 minute Parent Reset Before Kids

Step 1 : Pause and Breathe (1 minute)

 Put your hand on your chest and belly. Inhale slowly through your nose for 4 seconds  exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds. Say quietly " This is mine. It does not belong to them."

Step 2 : Physical release ( 1 minute)

Shake out your arms, roll your shoulders or stretch your neck. Imagine Literally " shaking off" the negativity. If you are standing by a sink, wash your hands and visualize rinsing off the family stress.

Step 3 : Recenter with love ( 1-2 minutes)

Close your eyes, picture your kids faces and silently repeat:

"They are not responsible for my pain."

" I bring them love, not my wounds."

Smile ently while saying this - your brain connects the smile to calm.

Step 4 : Micro- Anchor ( 1 minute)

Before entering their space, whisper a phrase to set your energy:

"I am the safe place."

"I bring peace into this room."

"I choose love first."

Then go to them and offer one small connection gesture - hug, eye contact, or cheerful greeting.

Why this works?

It interrupts the stress spiral.

It physically signals to your body that the family drama ends with you.

It resets your emotional energy before your kids absorb it.

A few recommendations for you to reset and refresh:

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