Before you Lose you Mind to Everyday Life Read this about how to Bring Peace into your life.

I am not sure how many of you experience this but I think this is something to be talked about.

Hopefully by the end of this you and I can maybe come up with a solution or you can implement the solution that I am currently implementing.

The past few days were too difficult for me not because I had a lot of difficulties but it was because of the way some things happened and the things in my mind.

Let me explain. I am not in the wrong here but sometimes there are some things that are not worth the headache. My inlaws came to tie Rakhi to my husband, his brother and it was a matter of them making my husband, my two kids sit down while I was standing on the side. Being the typical women who is supposed to serve and just observe from the guidelines.

And it is not wrong of me to expect them to come and talk to me nicely and have a decent conversation but because there is so much history between all of us because of disregarded boundaries. And it doesn't matter now what happened, how it happened because the thing is I ended up with a lot of hurt and pain. And I kept explaining everything to my husband and expected him to understand and maybe speak on my end. 

But these two days I had a lot of introspection of sorts. And I want to write it down whatever I remember. I felt alone a lot during this time, felt like I have given the kids too much time and never prioritized my career like I should have and maybe thats why I am here. It was difficult because when you are hurt you tend to hurt other people because maybe they don't react or behave like you want.

So my husband for some reason ended up doing odd hours I don't know why and I don't even want to ask why. Not sure if it is healthy but this has happened a lot whenever there is an emotional situation I am left to tend on my own more often. I felt sick to stomach, my kids were in ipad most of the days, or watching TV continuously, I was sleeping in a lot, taking care of kids by myself majorly but also taking my child to the activity that he is registered for in the summer.

But through this and ofcourse a little bit of television and social media I managed to get back up. But it was still a lot of down energy because I felt extremely alone. Until I started stepping out of the house a lot. 

Two days after I took the kids to Shoprite and saw this old fragile but independent man, he was there with his wife, shopping in Shoprite looking for potatoes. Since I was in that aisle I happened to see his. And that is when I was reminded of my Dad in India, who has been alone for so long. Imagine if I was feeling this lonely, how much difficult it must have been for him. No matter the circumstance in which a person ends up alone, at one point or another there comes a time when that feeling of loneliness creeps in and it is important to come out of it.

Sure I think about bringing my Dad home here but I don't have a home of my own to call him, he has been a working professional that has kept him alive and that is also something more important. Staying working. I came across this video of Donald Trump who mentioned about his friend who retired at 65, a prominent builder with a robust personality. Within a year of retirement that man had become someone he was not. And it was inspiring to see that.

The reason I feel I am in this position is because I am not working and I have realized it is important for me to be working for my own sanity. But the question also comes will I be ready to go back to work and do it all alone like how I did it before. And yes, it is disappointing but I then realized I am so much blessed. I have two beautiful kids, who ask nothing but to play and listen so attentively to almost everything I say, I have parents who are independent and take care of themselves and are true role models in almost every way.

But the thing that truly made me think in the right direction was this book

Peace of Mind: Becoming Fully Present by Thich Nhat Hanh

The book mentions the skill of breathing and the thoughts and specific words to use while doing the breathing. This is only a portion of what the book is teaching. As I am still reading it I will talk more about it as I read through it.

But during this phase I also realized how not everyone understands. Not everyone is supposed to understand. But If you are able to see the truth, and understand it better than anyone else you should think yourself as gifted. Maybe you are going to be able to provide help in a manner they never will be.

Here is an excerpt from the book that I hope you take with you:

"When you want peace of mind, everyone wants you to be successful. You walk not only for  yourself, but also for your parents who may never have had a chance to practice, for your ancestors, your teacher, your friends. It looks like you are walking alone, but  you are  not alone. There are many people around who need your practice to be happy and relaxed."

With this I have also realized some of my triggers.

When you don't get what you think you deserve but someone else is living the life you want it leads to a feeling of jealousy due to comparison. But Comparison kills the Joy.

So for my first trigger of unrealized expectation that then divulges into feeling of jealousy I am voluntarily going to choose peace. Every time that feeling comes in, I am going to accept it but the only thing I can change is myself. 

Sometimes you feel like you don't want to be the generation that was before you and don't want to be the sacrificial lamb because this is a selfish world. But this is more about what is important and what is not. 

The option that I had was to leave so I don't have to tolerate this everytime or tolerate it for one day. Because I can choose to do this for my kids who don't have to experience a seperate household because there are some things that might never change. And if you cannot change something its best to accept it.

The second trigger is when this happens I feel emotionally drained because I feel disrespected and not accepted. But this feeling has to change. No one is telling me anything but what I am feeling is based off the situations that I have experienced in the past. And because I feel emotionally drained I am not able to keep giving to my kids who demand a lot and it gets worse.

In this situation, I have not found a solution yet but a plausible solution is to remember what is important and what is  not. Kids seeing a crying mother is important or kids seeing a smiling mother is important.

I saw it first hand. Because I cried a lot my daughter cried a lot. And now I see he smiling so often because I am the one who is okay.

Sure when we are depleted it is difficult to smile but being grateful is very very important. 

And the last thing is you have to stay busy and you have to move, take your vitamins and talk to people who want to talk to you. If there is no one then talk to a stranger, who knows they might be waiting for that one person to change their life trajectory and who might not be as strong as you to face the loneliness alone.

I hope you enjoyed the read and take something from this.

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