Kids going back to school,,,,, how does it affect you

 We are that time of the year where school starts again. 

And Yes a lot of us complain about having kids at home for Summer, some of us worry about kids not getting any break and going from Daycare or Camps in the Summer to School again.

There are so many sides to that coin.

Fortunately, Unfortunately I got to experience them both.

When My kids were younger 11 months for my son and 4 months for my daughter we had to put them in daycare because we were both working onsite. And while we had family who could help us out I learned the hardest way that everyone is selfish including our parents and inlaws.

That is a topic for some other time because I know everyone will have a different opinion but the point is there was a time when I would go to work earlier than anyone and six years later it is was my son who was the first one to step out of the house.

Not many will read into it but I have a habit of reading too much into everything. With time I have reduced it but still with my kids it happens.

And yes my daughter is home for two more weeks, but I will feel the truest void when she also goes back to school. Since 2023 I have been in this lump time where I have been so surrounded by my kids that I grew out of every other relationship and work. The work that I did was remote so there was no human interaction per say but it really helped me live and take care of my kids.

And now it is different. I don't feel the rush to go back yet maybe because I have unemployment income so far. But again that is not infinite. My husband has been on the fence of buying a home because he is waiting for me to get a job. But I don't know. 

I maybe don't want to go back to the conventional form of working dedicating time and putting kids in daycare. Maybe if I get a good opportunity I might do it as well, but because of the experience I had where I was always the parent who had to pick up the slack of sick kids or holidays etc maybe I don't know if I could do it again. Because at that point I was a different woman - I was focused on working and making it work for all of us but in these two three years I have slowed down.

Till to this date if someone makes a plan and asks me to be included I might still say yes immediately but as a human, I don't want to enter rat race and work until I die.

Yes I want to work, I want to travel, give these kids the experiences they need and deserve and make memories as we age, maybe for them but primarily for us because the old age that I saw with my inlaws and my mother in the start it was difficult. Now it may be easy for them but at the point of transition into my parents and inlaws old age, they each handled it differently and there are different outcomes to that.

But being in this country since the age of 19, not having a home still yet, now I am reluctant and hesistant of a lot of things. 

Maybe it is because I am aging and the comfort is what keeps me restricted but once my daughter goes back to school, I am not going to have any other way but to make it work some way, because I am finally after almost two years with full time with kids getting a time away from kids a whole chunk of time, and this time will increase as I hear with each age group.

And that is okay too.... but It is going to be a task to see what to do and how to make do with those dreams that once lived in this heart.

Because it has to happen in the time frame the kids are in school.